Shelves

Here you go,

The shelves are up

It’s up to you to stack yourselves up on top of them, it’s not on me anymore

It was always a thankless job anyway

But you, you don’t disperse and scatter without me there shouldering you, like I had imagined you would

Without missing a beat, you tie knots and make chains to pull and push

Until each and everyone is up, neatly stacked

Self-satisfied smiles burst out across your horizon

A brightness begins to light up over you

Sparking applause from within your smug selves, partnering itself alongside back-slapping and whoops of joy and glee

I wish I could say

I felt light to see your bouncing smiles

But instead

Rocks began to grow inside

And weighed down the muscles of my own mouth

No joy able to shine out

And the loneliness of being forgotten just weighed me to the spot

I knew you remembered me

But you’d forgotten so easily

How you were never supposed to hurt me this way

And that if you ever did, you weren’t supposed to ever forget

Such an unforgivable deed

But you’ve both forgotten and also you’re quite content

I want to take my shelves down and let you drop right down

And let your bodies hit concrete

Like my heart has

I want you to hurt

From being smashed open

And in no way possible

Being able to be put back to whole

But as That desire grows alongside my rocks

I feel more heavy and sad

To feel the antithesis

Of your being

And loneliness is wedged between me and these rocks inside

Enjoy your view from up there

I’ll just keep sipping this poison

That I had laid out for you originally

I’m getting more and more used to the taste