You

Your toothy grin,

Smiles out from the grainy photograph

Your wounds,

Not visible to the camera’s lens

Can I bring you inside,

From the harshness of many years ago?

Can I find enough salve,

To soothe your sores?

Enough blankets to warm the chill,

Left clinging to your bones?

Enough air,

To breathe into your tight, closed chest?

You smile on regardless

Because that’s how you were instructed

By the greatest instructors of all;

Life and her whole crew of harshness

I want to lick you whole again ,

Fill in all your missing pieces

But I, I myself

Am fill of holes and cracks,

Just flimsy sticky tape

To hold it all in place ,

With a prayer and a promise.

Who am I to help you,

When I myself

Am so fractured, so fragmented

And yet,

I stand here

With a prayer and a promise,

Trying to find the parts of you

That I could possible stick together

I tear bread with my teeth

To feed my eyes

Lately,

They’ve been just so hungry ,

An insatiable hunger

Vibrating

From behind their sockets out

I just want to fill you both up

To stop all this movement

And should it cloud your vision somewhat

Then that would be a welcomed side effect

We’re not cut out for this, you and I

For all these sights reverberating back and forth

So let’s lay in the darkness together

And hush the sounds out

Let white light,

And white noise

Take our places

As we sink back

Into the comfortable sound

Of nothing.

Your delicate self

Falls down

Onto my outstretched tongue.

She calls you, inviting you in

To take refuge inside

You are safe there,

Safe from the frigid air

Until your core,

It starts to dissipate entirely

And the cold realization

That’s fast leaving your self

Is all you can hold onto

For these last few seconds .

It was I ,

I that took you in

With my sweet talk

Of warmth and flickering light

But you always belonged

In the cold air of nothingness;

It’s where you always thrived the most .

I allow regret to lick over me for a single moment

Before inhaling it back

To ensure your very self

Cannot,

Will not

Rise up again.

Blue Waves

Blue,

Your undulating rhythm

Calls my name

My toes dip inside oh so tentatively

To tease myself

Into dreaming

That for a moment ,

I could dive right into you

And drink your whole self in

But we both know

That you are an area forbidden ,

Out of bounds for me

And I dare not risk

The wrath

Oh my own cautious self

So I sit here,

Eyes following your rhythm

Longing,

Wishing

That I could override the settings

Programmed inside.

Blackmail

They call you black,

Because it’s your very form

You call back

Lives shatter, lives are torn

White clumpy clouds

Gather in crowds

Convalescing,

Because you’ve just been to visit

I search the air with my tongue,

Trying to feel their dropping drops

Haphazardly stumble into a run

On the runway of my words

Can I recover from your visit,

Or am I doomed to a certain, and yet an oh-so bland death?

You tease the air with your silence .

And I’m used to it.

I don’t like it; but there’s an undeniable warmth

Black pronged darkness

You insert yourself in under my flesh

From the base of my neck

And all the way down

How have you managed

To reach around

And take all this space in my chest

I breathe and your sharpness pierces aloud

In an abandoned playground

You lift your head

But today, despite your omnipresence,

I can be

I can breathe aloud

And hear other sounds

To be lost in

Other than your blinding self

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